I want to thank all my readers who have been my constant companions for a long time and that have supported me in this long struggle. And I am sorry for the pain I may have caused some of you. For all the hard words. I never set out to hurt anyone when I started this journey. It was all for love.
Some say that there is nothing in this world that love can't rise above. But then they forget about the sword that love hides in the dark red cape. It stings like a son of a bitch. And finally even the biggest bull lay bleeding and defeated.
It's been a rough journey, and you need good defences if you want to expose your heart like this day after day. Mine just ain´t strong enough right now. They finally crumbled today. Some weeks ago I struck gold, and for a while I thought it would be possible to keep it. I let myself hope too much. Maybe it was foolish, but at the same time part of who I am. I couldn't help it, and I don't regret a single moment. There are absolutely no hard feelings, just bad timing I guess.
I was pulled against my will into this strange world that holds so much ugliness. I began to see all the pain and suffering it creates. It wears you down in the end. What you read on this blog is just the surface. I have had to live with the whole ocean, every day for years. I hope I have managed to convey a clear enough picture for you to imagine the rest.
All I ever wanted was the justice, Equality and human rights that I have been promised in the swedish constitution. For me, my child and every other citizen of this country. That´s all. Maybe I have taken it a bit closer. Maybe I have opened the eyes of a few of you to the tyranny and the legal destruction of our children/parent relationships. God I really hope so.
I'll leave you for now with one of my favourites. This one really gets under your skin. Brad Paisley and Allison Krauss "Whisky lullaby".
I tried and I fell again. Every time it gets a little harder. Until finally you realize you ain't strong enough, and that the next time you fall it will kill you. That's when it's time to tear yourself away. I use that word because it will be hard. Once this constant fighting gets in your blood, it's nearly impossible to stop. Ask the soldiers coming home from a war.
I love you all. Some of you especially, and some of you less. Love is the only thing that has driven me to write though. Ever. There has been anger. Justified from my point of view, but never hate. That is just not who I am. Some of you don't believe me, but it doesn't matter. I know what's true and that's enough.
I hope you forgive me, but I need a rest. I don't know what the future holds. It will be one day at a time now for a while. That's all I know. I can't fool myself any longer.